When I was ordained as a priest , I was sent to a God-forsaken little village . I was over the moon that I can go . When one one is stamping one’s feet for six years in a seminary , like the horses ready to bolt , if they could they would gallop at full speed ….I wrote a great inaugural  speech for this occasion , and I could hardly wait to arrive there . 

Sunday the holy mass was attended by six elderly women and one elderly man . In the nice warmth of the church they just laid back comfortably . When I started my sermon , the man started to snore . A whole world collapsed within me . I tried to tell them my own great wise words , as much as I could, but that were no takers . Just like when milk curdles in one’s mouth I felt so miserable , I could hardly wait for mass to be over .

I returned to the sacristy , collapsed in a chair feeling sorry for myself :” You see my Lord I studied for six years , I accepted celibacy and renouncing many other things for You , and this is what I got in exchange  for it .” It felt as though Jesus sat down next to me and as though He would have answered me : “You see I died for these people on the cross . “ I am ashamed to say , but somehow then my spontaneous thought was : “ My Lord then You also got Your fingers burnt !” I was sitting quietly, alone in the empty church, feeling ashamed . I understood something very important : the fact is that I studied for six years for these people , but Christ died for them on the cross.

Father Csaba 

translated ny dr k.e.