"You have heard that it was said to the ancients, ‘Do not murder’ and ‘Anyone who murders will be subject to judgment’. But I say to you that everyone who is angry with his brother will be liable to judgment"

Matthew 5:21

As a young person, I loudly proclaimed that the shortest way to solve a problem between two people is to talk frankly! This statement is true - and I still believe it - but as time went by, I understood that some of the problems we face in our lives are crosses, and they should be solved not by arguing and bickering, but by carrying them! As the years go by, more and more problems turn out to be a cross, which is nothing to be embellished, it really pulls you down, it wounds you, you can't solve it but you can live with and carry it with love!

Knowing the limitations of ourselves and of our fellow human beings, a Christian realises that some of our human relationships are not problems that can be solved either by kind words or by quarrels, but they are crosses that can only be accepted and carried by love for each-other. This is when, laughing or through gritted teeth, we say: I love you just the way you are!

Even if I can't solve the problem that bothers me, but because we started out together, because we're partners, friends, I can bear it, even if it hurts, I carry it forwards. Somewhere here, where pain appears, Christianity and love begin. I may be hurt by what my partner says or does, but since two sharp swords cannot fit into one sheath, one of them must concede, and I am conceding! Where love for God and for our fellow human beings is alive, there is less bickering, less quarrelling, there is where people don't fool each other, where we may sigh, but we move on smiling!

Let us pray for wisdom to see clearly the problems of our lives, what can be solved with a kind word, with persevering work, but at the same time to see and accept the crosses that come with life! There will always be problems that we cannot solve, that we must carry without a word out of love for God and for each-other!

So let us learn: the solution to a problem between two people is a smile wrapped in a cheerful silence.

With love from 

Father Csaba

translated by MTI